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| (My Grandma and I during a visit in 2011) |
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| Grandma and I took a "Selfie" during a visit. |
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| My Grandma meeting her Great Grandson Grant September 2010 |
Tomorrow July 10, 2014 would have been my grandma Bev’s 86th
birthday. We would have celebrated with a good meal, maybe some cake, a lot of
laughs and photos. She would have played with Grant while hugging him and
snuggling him on her lap. As she had a lot of love to give. She would have
teased me about cooking, cleaning or patted me on my butt in her grandma way.
She would have told me she was so happy to be alive and to see her great grandson
and my success as a business owner and fully time Vice President of Sales. She would have been thrilled with my 40lbs weight
loss. However tomorrow will be a day I celebrate without her, because of losing
her to Alzheimer’s in 2012….
I have I have mixed emotions each year her birthday comes
around. I am sad because I miss her. I am mad because I feel robbed of this
beautiful person that is no longer in my life. I feel happy she isn’t in pain
and she isn’t suffering and her spirit is free. All of these emotions are many
from the life and death process of grief, however as I go through them I imagine what a great day we would have had. Most years she counted all her
blessings and would say “oh dear…I thought 50 was just awful, where did the
time go?” At the end of the day I have
one grandparent living. My grandpa Don. He celebrated his 87 birthday three
days before my birthday this year in March. We did all these things that Grandma Bev and I would have done together, except he isn’t sick and doesn’t
have Alzheimer’s. We laughed, ate a great meal, held hands, cuddled he hugged
my son and was the happiest I had seen him in his life. It makes me want to
fight harder to put a face to the name with the disease with Alzheimer’s and find
a cure. To me that would be the best birthday gift I could receive on her special
day.
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(I love this photo with all my heart. My grandma is looking at me and I am cracking a joke for her...)
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